Yesterday I attended a Peace and Love Yourself Rally for women. I left with the burden of knowing that as women we often do not find peace or love in our lives, especially towards ourselves. We women spend so much time beating ourselves up for the things we have done in the past, the things we still continue to do today, and we walk, crawl, run away with internal wounds that only we can see and carry.
What I've found over many years of searching is that loving ourselves is loving God. When we beat upon ourselves we are actually beating upon the Creator who knew we would do the crazy things that we did, and continue to do so. Loving ourselves, our mistakes, our failures, right and wrong things is loving God. We tend to forgive others quicker than we forgive ourselves, accepting their mistakes and their apologies while still struggling with our own.
One of the most frustrating things in my life is the recorder that runs endlessly throughout my mind replaying the moments of the previous day. There are times that it's insidious buzzing wakes me up the middle of the night demanding my attention, or follows me into the sunrise the new day, the volume of my words increasing with each waking moment. I replay over and over again what I said, what I did, what I wish I would have said, what I wish didn't do - until finally I yell STOP forcing the carousel in my mind to come to screeching halt. Sometimes I have to scream stop a few times before the hammer of self doubt falls only to rise again with the next day.
Peace and Loving myself just ain't easy, but every day when I force that stop out of my heart, my mind, my lips, I move closer to loving myself, loving God.
Peace unto you,
Tina
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